What are good ways to discern the calling to priesthood?

I keep getting asked about discerning one's vocation, and then I decided to write a few snarky thoughts about how y'all tin move forward.

Disclaimer: I am beingness sarcastic for humor and event, non because I think that y'all, the reader, are ridiculous.

This web log mail service is primarily for guys, only information technology can too be applied to many women and their own discernment.

1. "I know I'one thousand non chosen to be a priest; I actually desire to exist married and accept a family unit ." (This one is closely connected with: "I like girls also much." )

This is ane of the funniest things I take e'er heard. It's like saying that you lot must not be chosen to ally Jane because Jill is attractive, too.

If you think that you couldn't possibly be called to the priesthood because you like girls, y'all are confusing "health" with "call."

Every man who is good for you and loves Jesus will observe both the vocation to marriage and the vocation to the priesthood attractive. The funny thing virtually this statement is the fact that people who claim this say it with such authority. Often without any serious discernment (more on that in a second), they "but know" that they couldn't maybe be called to be a priest.

Now, if a man doesn't really feel whatsoever impulse or depict to the priesthood, that is fine. I have some skillful friends who, when they considered the priesthood, never got a real sense that that was something God was calling them to investigate more than deeply. That happens. But it isn't the same thing every bit "I want X, therefore I am non called to Y."

ii. "I'll but exist a deacon."

Stop. Right at that place. But … stop.

I'grand sorry.  I'll be serious for a second. Simply hither's my frustration: I volition talk with young men all of the time who have a sense that God is calling them to the priesthood, merely they "really want to get married," so they will say something forth these lines. What they are pretty much saying is, "I want to strike a compromise with God, so I'll be a deacon."

But the diaconate is actually another singled-out call in the service of the Church building.  It isn't something that a person "compromises" with God over.  Most permanent deacons experience the invitation from God to pursue the diaconate as a "phone call within a call."  They outset successfully discern marriage to one specific person, so, in the context of that vocation, they discern some other telephone call to serve.

Allow me reiterate: the diaconate is a detail call for some men; it is not where we negotiate with God to give him a "part" of our lives.

3. "I need to know my vocation by the end of the semester … "

Ah, my friend. There'south this super annoying concept called "God'due south timing." And information technology is a existent thing. The sooner that nosotros come to embrace it as a great gift, the sooner we volition accomplish holiness. I prayed virtually every 24-hour interval for ten years for God to let me know what he wanted me to do in regard to his call. I was genuine in that prayer, and I thought that I was totally ready for him to tell me, but God knew (and still knows!) better than I practise. In the meantime, I had to make life decisions and plans that were prudent. With every determination, I had some panic—("God, yous need to let me know my vocation soon! Prom tickets need to exist bought, applications are due, deadlines are coming … I have to make my determination at present!")—merely if I had needed to know, God would take fabricated sure that I had known.

Here'due south the deal: y'all tin trust God to guide the timing of this entire procedure. Pray. Go good counsel.  Make the wisest decisions you can for the time being, and in the meantime trust God.

4. "I'm discerning right at present … "

OK, I don't hateful to split hairs likewise much, but it is really important that we understand that "discernment" is more than "I'm thinking nigh … "

Information technology is time that nosotros get past the idea that a person is discerning based off of the unproblematic fact that they are considering one vocation or another.  "Considering" isn't discernment; it's pondering.

Don't get me incorrect, a large part of discernment includes thinking and pondering. Just actual discernment involves action. It involves taking steps. It involves movement.

At present, that motion could be talking to a priest, visiting a seminary, seeking spiritual direction, or researching more nearly a religious community on the internet. You could even fast from dating for a flavor to gratuitous up fourth dimension to visit seminaries without the time-commitment of a relationship (I'1000 not calling girls baggage … I'm just saying, puh-lease).

A side notation for the immature women who notice themselves entangled with a guy who is "discerning." Sisters, if he is not taking action toward discovering God'due south will in his life but tells yous he is "discerning," he either doesn't know what discernment is … or they be playin': "I'chiliad sad … I like you besides, just I'm discerning God's call right now … "

And brothers, if y'all are reading this, and y'all have said or thought those words, you don't have to worry about existence called to the priesthood right now. Y'all demand to step up and be a human—that is, be honest with yourself and with this girl—before you can even call back nearly being manly plenty for the priesthood.

In improver, you lot can only discern i vocation at a fourth dimension. That means if you are dating, y'all are Not discerning the priesthood/religious life. You are discerning marriage—non just the "vocation of union," just union to THE particular person you are currently dating. Conversely, if you are in the seminary (or have the awarding underway), you are discerning a vocation to the priesthood.

Annotation: as soon as y'all make up one's mind to enter the seminary, yous will run across girls who seem to come out of nowhere and one may appear to be the Girl Of Your Dreams. These girls will probably be awesome. And they may even be into y'all. This. Is. Going. To. Happen.

What does it mean , though???

I'yard simply telling you right now, as a human being who kept meeting incredibly amazing women once I decided to enter seminary, it doesn't mean annihilation. It only means that you are a good guy, and good women like skilful guys.

5. "I don't think that being a priest will make me happy."

I get that there are bits of truth in each of these statements that manifestly carp me more than than they should. I mean, I was in that location at ane indicate as well. And I likewise got all excited when I heard people say stuff similar, "You have to pay attention to your centre's deepest desire because that will often be how God communicates his volition." (I agree with this, by the way. I believe that it is true.)

The unfortunate affair well-nigh this is that it is oftentimes misunderstood. We tin can recall that this means your vocation is kind of a "you-fulfillment project."

Your vocation is not about you becoming as fulfilled as you can possibly be.

As I acknowledged, the vocation to which God is calling you lot will match upwardly with the deepest desires of your heart. Sure. Fine. But that is not the same thing as saying that your vocation is the ultimate self-expression and cocky-fulfillment. Jesus promised that all those who would come later on him were chosen to "come and dice."  We become things seriously incorrect when we think that our vocation is near us.

Your vocation is virtually HIM (the one who calls us), and it is about THEM (those whom we are chosen to serve).

If God is calling you lot to follow him and to serve them , the question: "Will this make me happy?" is less irrelevant.

Now, because I am saying some of this in a dramatic manner—some might say "melodramatic"—I exercise desire to clarify something: there is nothing that brings a person more joy than doing God'southward volition. Though Jesus calls usa to "come and die," he does not mean that we merely default to choosing the path we to the lowest degree desire (and think that must mean it is God's will). God loves y'all. He wants your good.  Considering of that, his call for y'all will fit really well. And it volition bring yous joy and fulfillment.

Just that anticipated fulfillment tin can't be the criterion for discerning a vocation. The sole determining question in discernment is: "Does God want this?"

Bonus: A Couple Not-Ridiculous Things

God ever speaks with clarity.

God wants you to know his will. He doesn't make it a mystery novel that you lot have to solve. He will reveal himself and his will when the time is right. All you have to practice is learn to listen to him in prayer, live a life consistent with a man who is actively pursuing Jesus, and stay close to the sacraments.

You are e'er called to be a man of virtue.

I recall beingness in spiritual direction with a human being who had discerned priesthood by going to the seminary. He realized, while there, that information technology wasn't where he was called. So, he left seminary and dated a couple of girls in an intentional manner. All the while, he was trying to follow God's call.

At one point, though he didn't know where God was calling him ultimately , he knew what God was calling him to immediately —a life of virtue.  And he set himself to work on that.

Eventually, he met and began dating the woman who is now his wife and the female parent of his children.

And maybe—simply maybe—he'll be called to exist a deacon!

Photo by Josh Applegate on Unsplash.

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Source: https://media.ascensionpress.com/2018/05/24/5-ridiculous-things-people-say-about-discerning-a-religious-vocation/

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